i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
