i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
