Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
