I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I have aggressive nipples.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
