I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
