Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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