someone owes me an orgasm
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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