whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
