she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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