my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
