I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
