PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
