imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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