I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
