You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
