just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
