Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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