either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
