Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
