Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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