Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
