At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
