You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
