She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
