Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
