Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
