nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
