Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
