Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Your dad touched me again.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
