yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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