help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
