Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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