Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
