my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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