farters have to be the big spoon...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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