is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
