Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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