YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
