Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
