all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
