What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You left your underwear on the fireplace
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
