why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
