Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
