you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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