I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
