They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
