the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
