So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
