i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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