i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
