I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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